Contemplation Time

Its strange to think that when I was a teenager (a decade or so ago) coffee culture did not exist in Yorkshire. Yes, yes I know many of you will think that ten years ago electricity and the internet didn't exist in Yorkshire, and yes you'd be right about broadband perhaps, but other than that elements of this great region are just as civilised as those south of Birmingham and to my knowledge the popularity of coffee shops was low in all aspects of the UK in the late 90's.
Now however it seems to be the cool hang out for anyone aged 12 and over.  Yes I said 'cool' which is probably very uncool, but I'm an eighties baby so I grew up saying things were 'brill' and 'ace'!
My geekiness aside, how do these children, and the ones on the table across from me are definitely only children, afford it? A drink and snack from any of the main coffee brands would have used up a whole weeks pocket money for me when I was 16, prior to that I would have been lucky to afford a biscuit.  Even now I count it as a treat, although Cafe Nerro is definitely cheaper than Starbucks and Costa and their Milano Hot Chocolate is my new addiction, hence I've had 3 this week (Its Easter Holidays, I'm allowed!)
Having gulped down my latest Milano I'm left with a smile on my face, aided by the sun shining through the window (I think I suffer from SAD) The shopping trip that prompted the coffee shop stop has added to my contentment today, a new jacket bought with 35% off thanks to signing up for the H&M newsletter and I've still got a 10% off voucher to use online. And for this evening a  free three course meal at Frankie & Benny's courtesy of a mystery visit.  Free food in exchange for filling in a questionnaire? I'd do them every day if I could find them within a 20 mile radius, I think being on the edge of the country on the way to nowhere limits the availability somewhat.
Before the food we are heading to Primark, Hull has the biggest one I've seen and its guilt free shopping, I can satisfy my need to shop without spending very much at all, another thing that when I was a teenager couldn't have been further from cool.  If you were seen in or wearing Primark it was social suicide, I like that society has evolved.

In other news, I received the minutes from my intial grievance meeting. although its taken them 15 working days which was actually the deadline for the investigation to be complete. There were many mistakes and omissions in the minutes, considering the meeting lasted nearly 2 hours, the write up seems incredibly brief, I quickly amended the important bits and sent it back.  Needless to say the investigation and subsequent decicion will clearly be taking longer than 15 days.
In the mean time however I am learning (slowly) to enjoy the freedom of not working full time, although some of my spare time is still spent finding resources for the students revision, the exams looming closer, rather than finding new hobbies for myself. 
I have entered another 10k race though. Prior to the trip to France I was impressed with my stamina and speed and was regularly running 10k, on my return though I had lost the ability to run, much to my distress running or rather jogging 1.5 miles nearly killed me and the subsequent two runs weren't much easier although I managed to get to 3 miles.  Hubby has now been enlisted to train me in preparation for the race, he did after all get me ready for a half marathon in a measly 6 weeks last summer so 10k should be easy right?
I am finding it difficult to go from a life where I had to fit things in to a busy schedule, without really having enough time for anything, to having so much time I don't know what to do with it.  Doing nothing was never an option before, although teaching was a huge slow down from the hospitality industry that used to be my career, I filled the spare hours with extra exam marking and bringing work home.  Now the extra exam marking isn't extra at all its just a fulltime job for a few weeks and in the other weeks I find myself struggling to write a to do list to fill my days.  My diary is evidence in itself of this new life, the pages used to be filled with scribbles and reminders and ticks to show I'd completed some tasks, the remaining ones (and there were always ones not finished) were transferred to the following page which quickly filled. This process simply repeated and repeated, now the pages on some days are entirely blank, only on the work days is there a noticeable list which I actually manage to complete.
As a result I can't help having moments when the hubby is at work and I'm at home with the puppy that my life is a little empty.  I have always been a career girl, movng round the country for the next job, everything else came second to work.  I admit this changed when I met the hubby, my priorities altered and I realised that work wasn't worth ruining a relationship for (some ex-boyfriends will be suprised to hear that) and so we both agreed that if work got in the way we would leave (we both worked at the same hell hole at that point and place does posion your entire life not just the time you spend in the building) I just have to keep reminding myself that there is more to life than work, but when you spend most of your adult life working its a difficult habit to break and I started fulltime work at 16 so its firmly engrained that you get up and go to work at least 5 out of 7 days a week, you stay there all day and when you get home you try to squeeze in the rest of your life and the people in it.
I have good days and bad days and I think the good days are getting more frequent, the news that my department will cease to exist after the summer did open up a huge gaping hole labelled September though.  I have the next few months to work out what I want from life, I know I can live on a drastically reduced wage, I'm doing it and still buying new clothes and as many hot chocolates as my conscience will allow, so what else? I will return to the wishlist and work from there.

En Francais!

Firstly apologies for the delay, French life is so laid back it practically stands still so my week away caused me to lose track of time, not because I was relaxing in the sun of Southern France, more because my mind was consumed with the frustrations of being faced with a world thats does not seem to be open for business and the stresses of being on best behaviour for the in-laws. 
I know I should have appreciated the slower pace and taken the opportunity to chill, but its not in my nature or the stepsons (he bores easily if things aren't happening) and despite the in-laws best efforts to welcome me I feel that I've been holding on tight all week, with my stomach in a knot and my shoulders up by my ears. 
I have worried about everything from whether I locked the door at home, to how much the motorways in France cost (£11 each way from Bordeaux to Aulnay) and whether we would manage to return the hire car in exactly the same condition we picked it up (800 euros to pay if not)  and of course whether the inlaws like me.
This was intended to be a budget holiday, accomodation was free, the inlaws being very hospitable to hubby, stepson and I, but France generally is expensive.  The supermarches are full of amazing foods that in England are only stocked on the tiny speciality shelves and the out door markets are full of colour and bustle, but the prices are high and even with a slight improvement in the £ to Euro rate (we managed 1.14 Euros to every pound) it still meant I was watching every penny.
These concerns were not helped by news from home that my little car had a massive crack all the way across the windscreen (possibly caused by a faulty fitting of a new screen after a pigeon fell off a lorry and cracked the original screen last summer)
It wasn't all bad I had a personal tour guide (the hubby grew up in France and is fluent in the language) we toured Chateau's (those that were open) shops, markets, beautiful countryside and the hubby's childhood memories including the baby photos.  My own French was also tested and not found lacking (I understand more than I can actually speak)

 One of three prison towers in La Rochelle (once owned by the English)

 The Roman Ampitheatre at Saintes

 Chateau at Crazzanes (can be hired for weddings and is truly beautiful)

The hire car we were given (a little Chevrolet Spark) was incredibly economical with only a 30litre tank it lasted all week and we covered a lot of miles (the South of France is very sparce) unlike the car I borrowed from a friend to get down to Luton which cost £73 to fill up!
I have to say despite the worries I slept incredibly well, the bed was soooo comfy, my dreams however were bizarre, ranging from adopting one of my students to heated debates with my so called boss.  I'm guessing these were provoked by the news a couple of weeks ago that my department will close in September.  Having already felt that I lost my job before Christmas when my hours were so vastly reduced this didn't have as much of an impact on me as it did on some of my full time colleagues.  It was gutting though when many of my students said they would not be returning after Easter as they didn't see the point since they would not be able to finish their course the following year.  Each name added to the list wrenched my insides, it means a lot to me to see them succeed and on a more selfish note my track record of results has been excellent for the last 3 years I don't really like the idea of it being tarnished.
The announcement also means that voluntary redundancy is an option again, but while my grievance continues with no update as yet, I cannot make any decisions, so again we wait.

 

Employment: Parttime 0.33 of a fulltime contract
Lodgers: 1 (new lodger moving in at the end of the month)
Eating out: all week in France! (we have eaten well)
Hubby: 1 (9 months of married bliss minus one argument and survived meeting the inlaws)
Dog: 1 (bathed and clean in honor of his holiday at my friends while we were in France and still smells good a week later)
Stepson: 1 (After a week on a family holiday it has been confirmed that I am not a natural stepmum, I like my hubby to myself although stepmum was chosen over dad to sit next to on the plane home!)
No Spend Days: I admit I have no idea (nobody's perfect)